Reality

There are many realities throughout life. The is the one you live in, the one everyone else does (that is their individual own), and the one that none of us know. The one we don’t know is the real world. The sum of each one of us as an individually.  We make up the world. As one person it is impossible to know it. This is because we do not know the reality of the ones we are closest too, let alone the strangers of this life. It is with the philosophy of reality that this idea I have is born. When you are wanting to change the world and feel as though nothing you do will ever be good enough think of this:

If you change, no matter good or bad, the sum of the reality of the world is changed. You changed it by becoming more or less of what you were. Therefor it would change everything everywhere. We sometimes for get the importance of life and the realization that our life’s have rippling effects. Ones that go beyond our own knowledge and beyond what we think we can reach. It’s with this same thought, that I realized that I can changed it I feel about the reality I’m choosing. I choose to be in this reality. The one you have all gotten to read about. Where I felt sorry for myself, whined relentlessly, and forgot to live my life. The world reality comes to us daily but it’s how I decide to handle my reality. It’s simply interpreting things in a more positive way. It’s reaching out and touching someone with love, respect, and selflessness. Because when you stop trying to change people by force and just love them, love yourself, and just live in the present reality all things change. The world is changing.

Advertisements

Title

There is so much That is fucked up inside of me. That’s dark and full of secrets.

I was one of the worst people I’ve ever known for the longest time. 

I caused more heartaches and suffering then I want to admit. 

I’ve been a cheater and a liar. I’ve done so much wrong

I remade myself into a good person. I was born from two dark, selfish, weak willed people. 
I made me strong, conscious of others, more then the average.

But when it comes down to it….I’ve been the worst of the worst.
I remade myself and was able to love and be loved. By allowing myself to feel I finally had my heart broken for the first time. I was allowed to really care for others. Be concious of my actions, my words, my heart. I feel weaker then I ever have. But to give into emotions. To give everything into the connections you make with people, it’s beautiful. Rather it ends sad, happy, confusing, whatever it is. You can find beauty. All you have to do is look. Stop chasing for the perfect life and find the perfection in the chaos.  I accept the bad in me. I accept all parts of me. I accept I can’t always be on point with others but I can still be happy. There is always light, even if the only light around is the one inside of you.

This is my life, I am here. I fight for myself and for all people. I fight to be the difference the world needs. If you can be connected to anyone in the world, by what like 3-6 people, then anything you do could change the world.

Be different. Be bold. Love and be loved. Fight for yourself, you deserve it.

Anything is possible

Everyone on this earth seeks and craves attention. Because we are humans and with attention of someone we find love. Love is a purpose in life. Love gives us hope and chance. You have to love others unconditionally and love yourself the same.

Only when you truly love yourself are you able to produce an infinite amount of love into the universe.
I believe everyone of us has the ability to love every person on this earth.
When love starts anything is possible.

I want to see the world

So I got a job, I am taking the course and state test to be a insurance sales person. It’s a career, I don’t know if I wanna do it forever. But at this job I can retire in 10 yrs and have enough money to last me. That’s 36…I’m 25 but I will be 26 in March so might as well not count that.
This job is going to open up my dreams to travel and there isn’t anything I can’t do if I want.
So, since I want to travel, this next year I’ll be blogging from other cities, states, and countries. Can we say EXCITED!!
I hope this works the way I’m imagining because I’ve lived in Texas my entire life, in two different parts. I’ve seen a few places in the last 5 yrs but not enough.
I want to experience the world. I want to know what’s out there and who are these people that live across oceans. What’s their stories? Who are they? What do they do for fun? I want to see Egypt, England, Scotland, France, Rome. I want to know the world and leave with friends stretching across the globe.

lead the world into something more

Its a weird thought that while we are watching our shows, cleaning our home, cooking dinner, reading a blog, the world goes on. People are dying, changing, falling in and out of love. Sometimes i feel like the world is slipping by. i know I’m only 25 and i have my whole life ahead of me. but do i? i smoke and i used to party hard. 75 is what I’m guessing. not because poor little me I’m so depressed and life so hard. no because I’m looking at this in an honest way. i may be one third done with my “whole life.” what am i doing as the world goes on.

You know what I’m doing I’m sitting here writing about the fact that i never do anything, as me and “T” watch rivals. (side note: people are out of control, if you have seen these shows you know what I’m talking about)

I think that i could, not change the world, but that i can be a change in the world. That I’m wasting my life away. I worry about all sorts of dumb things. things to me that aren’t dumb at all. Like will i pick the wrong thing to do with my life. Could i hate it and be miserable or what if it doesn’t bring enough money, I’m happy but i can’t afford to survive. ¬†When’s the right time to have kids? should i have kids? will we be good parents? where do we live? Ive only really ever lived in texas, small towns mostly and now a small city. “T” is from colorado and wants to go home. its so expensive. I wasn’t prepared to be on my own when i left. i had a college dorm and then an apartment with a recliner and a blanket. Ive built up lost it all. now I’m struggling because I’m growing up and all that time spent partying and being a wild child is biting me in the ass. I wouldn’t change it. I have had some of the craziest things go on. not all of them are good, but thats another story.

even though i wouldn’t and couldn’t change my life, i do wish i was going on with my life, that i wouldn’t have done things that i have been doing and started doing things that matter. i want my life to mean something. i want to inspire people. i want to reach out in the world and leave a path to follow. one that can be found around every corner and every turn to do whats right and lead the world in to something more.